Psychotherapy
by Kuchiku Iakkin
Summary: All Gundam Pilots are in therapy. Some need it more than others. R
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah; you know the routine.  
  
A/N: I got this idea in my history class. Wufei is a psychotherapist, and has to help the Gundam Wing characters. Major Wufei torture.  
  
Wufei: Ok Relena, what is your problem?  
  
Relena: Well, um. I have a major crush on this boy. I follow him around, take pictures and put them in my shrine of him.  
  
Wufei: You really are a stalker.  
  
Relena: No I'm not! I just love the way his beautiful brown hair falls into his beautiful blue eyes. ::swoons:: What should I do?  
  
Wufei: What do I look like? Your personal consultant?  
  
Relena: You're the therapist. You know everything.  
  
Wufei: . Either give up, there is other fish in the sea, or you can get up the nerve to ask him out.  
  
Relena: Maybe you could ask him for me?  
  
Wufei: No  
  
Relena: ::In a whiny voice:: Please?  
  
Wufei: No, do it yourself.  
  
Relena: Fine! ::Starts to pout::  
  
Wufei: Stop that!  
  
Relena: :: Still pouting, but now tears are now welling up in her eyes::  
  
Wufei: Ok, ok, I'll ask him  
  
Relena: YEAH!!! Thank you Woofy!! :: Jumps up and kisses Wufei::  
  
Wufei: :: Grumbles:: How do I get myself into these messes?  
A/N: did you like? R&R 


	2. Ch 2 Heero's Pshychotherapy Session

Disclaimer: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know the routine.  
  
A/N: I will be joining in. At the end. It's impolite to interrupt a psychotherapy session. Enjoy  
  
Wufei: What's your problem?  
  
Heero: I think I have a stalker and a different girl trying to kill my stalker.  
  
Wufei: Let the other girl kill your stalker; trust me on this one.  
  
Heero: .Hn  
  
Wufei: Relena wants to know if.  
  
Heero: NO!I can't stand her! I was assigned to protect her, stupidly, I accepted. I can't take it anymore.  
  
Wufei: .So, that's a no?  
  
Heero: No, it's a 'Hell No'  
  
Wufei: Ok, who do you think the other girl is?  
  
Heero: Don't know, but if she does get rid of Relena, I'll love her for life.  
  
Wufei: What if I got rid of her?  
  
Heero: Find someone else  
  
Wufei: Good answer.  
  
Heero: Tell Relena to leave me alone.  
  
Wufei: ::Sarcastically:: Yeah, sure  
  
Heero: Thanks. Oh could you do me one more favor?  
  
Wufei: ::In an annoyed voice:: What?  
  
Heero: Find me a girlfriend  
  
Wufei: . ::In an annoyed, sarcastic voice:: Yeah, sure, no problem.  
  
Heero: Thanks  
  
Wufei: Why am I the psychotherapist? It's no fun!  
  
Kuchiku: Quit your whining, unless you want to die a slow and painful death.  
  
A/N: Hope you liked. R&R. please send me any suggestions on the other pilots. -Kuchiku 


	3. Ch 3 Riyuku's Psychotherapy Session

Disclaimer: You know the routine  
  
Wufei: ::In an annoyed voice:: What's your problem  
  
Riyuku: I have a crush on someone.  
  
Wufei: I'M TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT EVERYONE'S LOVE LIFE PROBLEMS!! I was told to correct everyone's psycho problems! Kuchiku never said anything about love life problems!  
  
Kuchiku: ::Smacks Wufei over his head repeatedly:: JUST SOLVE THE PROBLEMS!! I don't wanna have to hurt the therapist!  
  
Wufei: ok, ok, Who do you have a crush on?  
  
Riyuku: Duo  
  
Wufei: Have you told him?  
  
Riyuku: Whenever I get close, he runs away.  
  
Wufei: Wonder why.  
  
Riyuku: You're not being a very good therapist. I'm telling Kuchiku.  
  
Wufei: Sorry. Just tell him how you feel. Corner him if you must.  
  
Riyuku: OK! I'll do just that. Thank you!  
  
Wufei: Sure, no problem.  
  
A/N: Ok, I'll admit it, this one sucked. Tell me if I need to get rid of it. I really need ideas on the others. (Trowa, Quatre and Duo) 


	4. Ch 4 Trowa's Psychotherapy Session

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing.  
  
Wufei: I QUIT!!  
  
Kuchiku: You are not allowed to. You can only take a break. I'll take over from here.  
  
Wufei: Thank you.  
  
Kuchiku: Who's next?  
  
Wufei: ::Picking up a clipboard, flipping a few pages:: According to this, Trowa.  
  
Kuchiku: TROWA!! Your turn. See ya 'Fei.  
  
Wufei: ::Just waves::  
  
Trowa: .  
  
Kuchiku: What's up?  
  
Trowa: .  
  
Kuchiku: Any problems?  
  
Trowa: .  
  
Kuchiku: Ookay. You are the silent type. I know how to make you talk.  
  
Trowa: .?  
  
Kuchiku: ::Pulls out a syringe with a clear liquid in it, sticks it into Trowa's arm, and injects him; who just said 'ow':: There, made you speak.  
  
Trowa: What was that for?  
  
Kuchiku: I need to know what the problem is; you wouldn't talk, so I gave you something that will help.  
  
Trowa: What was it?  
  
Kuchiku: Don't really know. all I know is soon you'll be happier than Duo, spilling your guts to me. ::Evil laugh::  
  
Trowa: . Why?  
  
Kuchiku: We've been through this already. I'm now the therapist, I have to find out what your problem is, to why you won't speak!! ::Growls under breath::  
  
Trowa: Ooh. Why am I here?  
  
Kuchiku: AAAAAAHHHHH!! Urge! I HAVE ALREADY TOLD YOU!!  
  
Trowa: ::Giggling:: No you haven't.  
  
Kuchiku: Yes, I have  
  
Trowa: No, you haven't  
  
Kuchiku: Yes  
  
Trowa: No  
  
Kuchiku: Yes  
  
Trowa: No. Can I watch cartoons now?  
  
Kuchiku: No. You have to stay here, and tell me why you don't talk.  
  
Trowa: I do to talk  
  
Kuchiku: Cussing and telling the enemy to kiss your ass does not count.  
  
Trowa: But I spoke. I'm not totally mute to where I can't speak to the enemy.  
  
Kuchiku: So you can talk to your enemies, but not your friends?  
  
Trowa: ::In a whiny voice:: I don't have any friends. Friends go shopping with you, and not tell you that the shirt you picked out doesn't match the skirt you also picked out!  
  
Kuchiku: ::Big sweat drop:: um. who do you call the people in the house you live in?  
  
Trowa: People that live in the same house I do, that may get me killed.  
  
Kuchiku: I hardly think that they will get you killed. They care about you very much; as a friend of course.  
  
Trowa: Just a friend? JUST A FRIEND!? I need more than that!  
  
Kuchiku: That's when you get a girlfriend.  
  
Trowa: A girlfriend? What's that?  
  
Kuchiku: ::An ocean sweat drop, scratches the back of my head:: um. a girl to take out on dates, umm. to love. That kind of thing.  
  
Trowa: Oh. Someone like. you?  
  
Kuchiku: No. Not someone like me. Actually, someone that's strong, silent, and appreciates a guy like you.  
  
Trowa: . Someone like you?  
  
Kuchiku: I said someone silent. I'm far from silent.  
  
Trowa: Oh. Who would you recommend?  
  
Kuchiku: Umm. RIYUKU!!  
  
Trowa: Riyuku?  
  
Kuchiku: Yeah, she's perfect! Strong, somewhat quiet, she'd really appreciate a guy like you!  
  
Trowa: ::Hopeful look in his eyes:: Do you really think so?  
  
Kuchiku: Yeah! I'll go get her. ::Calls for Riyuku::  
  
Riyuku: What?  
  
Kuchiku: Trowa has something to ask you  
  
Trowa: . umm. Riyu?  
  
Riyuku: Yes?  
  
Trowa: would. would. would..  
  
Kuchiku: ::smacking him on the back of the head:: SPIT IT OUT!!  
  
Trowa: ::Rubbing the spot I hit:: Ok, ok. Riyu, would you go to dinner with me tonight?  
  
Riyuku: ::Jumping into Trowa's lap:: Yes, yes my dear, sweet Trowa. I thought you would never ask!  
  
Trowa: ::Big grin:: Thanks Kuchiku, I could never had asked this beautiful woman out with out your help.  
  
Kuchiku: ::Ego growing by the second:: Aww, it was no problem  
  
Tabiku: NNNNOOOOO! RIYU HOW COULD YOU?! You knew I was gonna ask Trowa to go with me!  
  
Riyuku: He asked me! You took too long to ask.  
  
Trowa: Two girls? I'M THE LUCKEST MAN IN THE WORLD!!  
  
Kuchiku: Trowa, give it a rest. Tabiku, sit down calm down-  
  
Riyuku: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! What is that?!  
  
Trowa: Whoa, down boy.  
  
Kuchiku: ::Palms in my hands.:: Ok, ok. QUIET!  
  
Trowa: .  
  
Riyuku: .  
  
Tabiku: .  
  
Kuchiku: That's better. Now, Trowa, take Riyu out tonight. I will consult Tabiku next time. Have a good day.  
  
Trowa: Ok, cool with me  
  
Tabiku: This isn't over yet Riyu.  
  
::The three left::  
  
::Wufei walks in::  
  
Wufei: That was amazing! How did you do that?  
  
Kuchiku: Aww, it was nothing. All in a days work.  
  
Wufei: :;Peering out the door, seeing Trowa "playing" with Duo.:: What is he on?  
  
Kuchiku: My little secret.  
  
Wufei: Cheater. ::Walks out the office::  
  
Kuchiku: Am not! ::Leaves behind him::  
  
A/N: Did you like? R&R Tell me what you think. I need ideas for Duo (more details) as well as Wufei, and Quatre (more details). IDEA!! I also need ideas for Trieze, and Zechs! Thanks! -Kuchiku Yuy 


End file.
